(with apologies to Mel, because there is no picture of cake here today ...)
I still haven't told my mother that I'm pregnant, and I seem to be rounding the corner to week 15. She was, shall we say, less than supportive during the first two losses, and since then, I have found myself more and more reluctant to talk to her. And then there's the fact that she just doesn't do what I'd expect a grandparent to do. Case in point: a few weeks ago S. was away on business and I was taking students on a field trip to NYC by train, meaning I would be about 3 hours away from Ian because of transportation issues, and because I'd parked my car at work. I asked my mother if she'd be available by cell in case something happened (she's about an hour away from Ian's school) and she told me that would be fine, that she'd be available after 11am when she got back from the Y. Umm, right. And what happens before then? Let's just say I had someone else's number on speed dial that day.
But at some point I need to get over myself and tell her, as a good friend of mine so wisely pointed out, by spelling out how she should react, because delaying the news flash would just make her, and then me, more upset in the long run. I think I've set myself a date of August 16, which would be my next ob/gyn appointment. If things are still going well then, I think I can muster up the courage to start spreading the word. I have been thinking a lot about the recent pregnancy losses among my fellow bloggers (Rebecca, Andie, and so many others); in the face of this reality, it is hard to be confident. One day at a time, right?

In the meantime, I've started in on the tsunami of tomatoes coming from both our back yard and the CSA. S. isn't a big gazpacho fan, so this is sort of the other direction; I've been making this soup for years, and I always find it comforting, even though it's a warm dish that ends up offering up its freshest flavors in the middle of the hottest part of the summer. You could probably eat it cold, or even lukewarm, too, but the important thing is to get herbs and vegetables that have just been picked. We even got to pull up some of our garden-grown mutant carrots for this one, and I used my still-new blender, which purees like a dream and made me crow with happiness. Enjoy it with a crusty loaf of bread and a green salad, or some roasted potatoes, or just right off of the wooden spoon you're using to stir it.
Roasted Vegetable Soup1 large onion, thinly sliced
2 pounds plum tomatoes, halved lengthwise
1 pound carrots, peeled, cut into 1/2-inch-thick rounds
2 garlic cloves, unpeeled
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 1/2 cups water
2 3/4 cups (about) low-fat (1%) milk (could also use soy or rice milk for a vegan version)
1/4 cup thinly sliced fresh basil
Preheat oven to 400°F. Spray large rimmed baking sheet with nonstick spray. Arrange onion, tomatoes, carrots and garlic cloves on prepared baking sheet. Drizzle with oil. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Roast until vegetables are tender and brown, turning occasionally, about 55 minutes. Don't be afraid of brown. Carbon is your friend in this dish.
Cool slightly. Peel garlic cloves. Transfer vegetables to large bowl (do not clean baking sheet).
Add 1 cup water to baking sheet, scraping up browned bits; add to blender, then add half of vegetables and puree until smooth. Transfer to large saucepan. Add remaining vegetables and 1 1/2 cups water to blender and puree. Transfer to same saucepan. Gradually add enough milk to soup to thin to desired consistency. Stir in 1/4 cup basil. Simmer 10 minutes to blend flavors. Season with salt and pepper. (Can be made 6 hours ahead. Cover; chill. Bring to simmer before continuing.)
Ladle soup into bowls. Sprinkle with another 1/4 cup basil if you so desire, and serve.
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