Minestrone di Verdura

Yesterday, I was on top of the world.  I went to work for a Senate meeting with N. in tow and returned with both of our sanities intact, put both kids to bed with minimal crying, did the laundry, ran and emptied the dishwasher, emptied the compost, and started beans soaking for a soup.

But honestly, more often lately, I've been feeling like I suck at motherhood.  I read other mom bloggers that seem to be having such an amazing time with their newborns, and wonder what's wrong with me.  I'm not cooing at my infant while she nurses; I'm typing one handed on my computer.  Am I supposed to be talking to her?  The other day, she was crying, I had exhausted all possible options and was not willing to feed her again (she had just fallen off minutes ago), and I went about doing laundry, crying infant on my shoulder.  Is this heartless?  And then there's I., whom I feel like I don't pay enough attention to, either ... I want to pay attention to him, but I can't make my brain function to play pretend with him, and I sometimes find myself wanting to turn him off ... to turn everyone off and have a minute to myself.  I don't think I have postpartum depression, but boy, it's easy to get down on myself these days.

And then there's the limbo I mentioned in my last post.  Dressing up in my pantsuit made me feel productive, and yet a part of me longed for my comfortable baggy sweatpants.  I wish things felt less complicated.

A friend of mine (my former boss) sent me a cookbook recently.  It's a cookbook that I coveted once when I was visiting her house for dinner, full of simple soups from a Benedictine monk in a monastery in upstate New York. Most of the recipes are vegetarian, and all of them are unfussy and easy to throw together.

I cook for comfort, and simple monastery soups sound pretty appealing right now.  The book is divided by month, with attention to seasonal ingredients, and I think I'll try making one per week; we are joining a CSA again this summer (a different one from last year, which starts a little later and includes fruit), and these soups will be a good way to use our weekly share.  Here's to simplicity, one week at a time.

Minestrone di Verdura

2/3 c. olive oil
1 large onion, chopped
2 carrots, sliced
2 stalks celery, sliced
1 15 oz. can cannellini beans
1 15 oz. can peeled tomatoes
10 c. water
2 potatoes, peeled and diced
1 small head of radicchio or escarole, chopped
1 c. white wine
1 bay leaf
chopped parsley
salt and pepper, to taste
grated Parmesan cheese (optional)

Gently saute the onion, carrots and celery stalks for about 5 minutes. Add the beans and tomatoes and continue sauteing for 2 more minutes.

Add water and bring the soup to a boil. Add the diced potatoes, radicchio, wine, bay leaf, parsley, salt and pepper. Cover the pot an simmer the soup for 60 minutes. Turn off the heat ans let the soup stand for 15 minutes. Remove the bay leaf. Serve hot. Grated cheese may be sprinkled on top of each serving.