Fuck you Centerlink!

Centerlink Sux! On Thursday, I went to the Centerlink office in town, and it went like this

Customer Service Person: Can I help you?
Me: Yeah, I want to find out of I'm eligible for anything, I'm a student, but I'll be finishing soon...
CSP: We don't deal with that anymore, you're best calling the hotline
Me: Last time I did that I spent a good hour chasing my tail, only to come into an office
CSP: Well, we don't asses claims anymore,
Me: Fine, but I'd rather just talk to someone face to face and get some advice
CSP: Sigh, take a seat
Me: (takes a seat, edits thesis and tried to ignore depressing tv adds)
Another Customer Service Person: Ok, Ainslie how can I help you?
Me: Ok, well, my circumstances have changed since I last visited, and I want to know if I will be eligible for any assistance, I'm close to finishing my degree with honours (waves thesis I was editing while waiting) ..
ACSP: Ok, well then you'll be looking at Newstart, and we don't assess that here,
Me: Yeah, the other person said that, and said I should call on the hotline, but last time I did that, it went in circles...
ACSP: Oh, ok, well, I want to help you with the Newsart then, follow me... (Directs me to self help area) Just use this phone to call the hotline and someone will help you,
Me: Ok, will I be on hold?
ACSP: I can't help you with that I'm sorry.
Me: sigh. Thanks. (calls hotline on self service phone)
Phone Customer Service Person: Thanks for calling how can I help you?
Me: I want to see if I am eligible for assistance, I'm currently a student but I'l be graduating very soon.
PCSP: Ok, well, you'll be eligible for Newstart, I just need a notice of termination from your last employer..
Me: My last employer was two years ago and sent me a text message
PCSP: Oh, well, I just need their details and we can get that information from them, and I'll just make you an appointment,
Me: So this isn't already applying for Newstart?
PCSP: No, we'll get someone to call you about it. So the next available time is 11th June, is that ok?
Me: Yeah, fine,
PCSP: what time would you like?
Me: Umm, early would be good,
PCSP: So 9 am? that way you're first cab off the rank, you won't be kept waiting
Me: Fine, what do I need to have with me? Any documentation from uni? Any details about my husband?
PCSP: Well, you will need details about where you are living, and who you are living with
Me: Well I live with my husband, so what details will you need?
PCSP: Well it doesn't say what details you need from your husband, just who you are living with,
Me: Well I live with my husband
PCSP: oh, ok, just have you're Customer Reference Number and be ready at 9 AM
Me: ok, thanks. (End Call)

*********
Monday Morning, 9:01 am
Me: Oh, yuck I gotta get out of bed, Centerlink is calling me today
Husband: They won't call it's public holiday
Me: Well, I have an appointment.
Hus: Huh? I thought you had to visit the office for an appointment
Me: Nope, apparently the system is different now. They can call you and do it over the phone....
Hus: oh.
Me: (sits wrapped in a blanket, waiting for the phone to ring)
Me: Honey, what time is it?
Hus: Don't you have a phone?
Me: yeah, but I want to know what time you have. My phone says 9:08
Hus: 9:10
Me:(gets out iPhone, looks for centrelink website. goes around in circles, looking for the correct number to call)
Me: No I don't need a translator! Dammit!
Hus: They're not going to call.
Me: Sigh, fucking public holiday.

Moral of the story: Don't trust centerlink. They don't know what day it is.